We all like to read and share some funny jokes as well as memes with our friends and loved ones. If you are someone who likes non-jokes in English, you have landed at the right address. You can’t say these jokes out loud but you can surely save them and send them to your girlfriend to crack her up.
People often have dirty and adult jokes to share but these are the best ones we have come across. If you are having a late-night conversation in your friend group or with your girlfriend, you can definitely share some of these jokes to lighten up the mood.
While many people find it difficult to entertain others, these non-jokes come in handy when you are with your guy gang or with your partner. These double-meaning non-veg jokes in English can be shared on WhatsApp, Messenger and Facebook as well.
Here is a list of the best non-veg jokes in English to share with your girlfriend or wife:
1. The floral effect
Why do women wear panties that have flowers on them?
In loving memories of all faces that have been buried there.
2. Think deep ;P
You can tell a woman’s feet how she feels about you.
If they are behind your ears, that means she likes you.
3. Who is a liar?
What do you call a teenager who doesn’t masturbate?
– A liar!
4. Get it?
All day long it’s in and out. It discharges loads from the shaft. Men and women go down on it. What is it?
– An elevator.
5. Novice child
Teacher: Give me the opposite of this sentence, “Children in the dark make mistakes”.
Student: Mistakes in the dark make children.
6. Should have made the room sound proof.
Child: Hey daddy
Father: Yes sweetie?
Child: Are you my Grandfather?
Father: No, but why do you ask?
Child: But mommy called you daddy last night.
7. Not trying this.
I tried phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
8. What do ladies talk about when alone?
Woman 1: Why is your husband always on time while returning from work every day?
Woman 2: I told my husband that sex will be at 9 pm sharp, with or without you.
9. You can’t blame the victims.
A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
10. You already know why.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
11. Chicken or egg?
I went to a Halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered that day.
– The Chicken
12. You can feel it while reading.
Touch gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it isn’t enough use 3 fingers, make sure it is wet, and rub up and down.
Yep. that’s how you wash a cup.
13. This one is nuts.
How do you make a pool table laugh?
Tickle its balls.
14. Also a horror story.
What are the three shortest words in the English language?
“Is it in?”
15. Guess the body part?
I must be allergic to you because every time I’m near you, a part of me starts swelling.
You remind me of peanut butter because you’re smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
17. Husband making a fool of himself
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts “mypenis”, then the wife falls on the ground laughing as the computer states, “Error. Not long enough.”
18. That’s what she said!
*Girl goes to repair umbrella*
Umbrella man: The upper cloth has to be removed and the rod needs to be inserted.
Girl: Do whatever you want, water shouldn’t go in!
We hope you had fun exploring these double meaning non-veg jokes in English. Cheers!
Disclaimer: These jokes are meant to be taken in a light-spirited way. We don’t intend to hurt the feelings of any particular gender or community. We apologize if these non-veg jokes in English caused any distress to you, directly or indirectly.